By which I mean a sticky white liquid substance that very much doesn’t look like egg. If you’re unlucky you’ll get nothing, and the girl will be covered with “egg”. If you’re lucky you’ll get a really good super rare item.
This time around, the egg is placed between the girl’s boobs, and you need to spin them around so that they crack and break the egg. To find out you drop back into the boob massage minigame. These eggs might hold valuable treasures. You’ll never actually pay real money for these (it’s just a mechanical system), but as you defeat enemies, you’ll earn eggs. Seven Pirates H’s pièce de résistance is its little parody of gacha mechanics. I mean, even Elden Ring doesn’t have that.Īnd yet that’s not even the furthest it goes. It’s an eye-popping levelling system, but it’s also kinda innovative. You’ve got a lot of control over how your characters develop (both in terms of their statistics and, quite literally, what their boobs look like), based on how you like to play with their bodies. Rather than characters just levelling up, once they have enough experience for a new level, you get to jump into a minigame where you massage their breasts in various directions to improve various statistics. It’s the levelling up system that does it. Nor is it the enemies, most of which are some creative phallic reference. It’s not the character designs, either, though each character may as well be naked for all the coverage that their costumes provide.
The creativity in those CGs really is something else. It’s not the CGs that pop in to introduce characters and highlight key moments, though the artist behind them had way too much fun designing scenes that show as much of the character’s boobs and crotches as much without showing the tiny last 1 per cent that would get the game relegated to “adults only” territory. Related reading: Our review of the previous game in this extended series by Idea Factory, Moero Crystal H. But I’m not going to play Seven Pirates H in public, ever, and I love it for that. I haven’t cared about that since the days when I was a uni student, got chewed out for reading Marquis de Sade on the train for coursework I was doing at the time, and realised that what people think about the books I read or games I play just doesn’t matter.
I just don’t care if people look over my shoulder and get offended. I am more than happy to whip out Dead or Alive Xtreme 3, Gal*Gun, Hyperdimesnion Neptunia, Nekopara, or any other fanservicey Switch game that you can think of on the train or any other public space.
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